Compromise is not the secret sauce of successful relationships.
It is time to update that rigid concept.
If you want a feelgood relationship, then compromise is to be deliberately avoided.
What does compromise mean?
It actually means "I take a little pain, and you take a littlel pain."
So compromise is NOT a win-win-scenario.
But where does our need to compromise actually come from?
It comes from our earliest need to attune ourselves to our family unit in childhood and get our needs met. And as we're dependent on our caretakers at an early age so they meet our needs so that we can actually survive, compromise is a codependency strategy. Let that sink in ...
Codependency essentially gives rise to two things:
a deep wounding that comes with the desire to fit in
the idea that love is compromise
So back to the beginning: Compromise is not the secret sauce of successful relationships in which you can actually and truly be yourself and get your needs met based on who you truly are and what you truly need and what your values are. It takes away the expression of your truest need and causes pain. For both.
Which is why I want to invite you to re-evaluate compromise for the sake of your own wellbeing. Or as one of my Mentors used to say:
Compromise is a lose-lose situation.
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